Willy Wonka Would Even Be Jealous

This was hilarious and it just happened so I have to tell you. I'm sitting in the IMAX theatre on 68th and Broadway waiting to see Star Trek...not by choice I'll have you know (Right JC?). Between you and I ...secretly I enjoyed it but that's not where I am going with this. So the movie starts in about 20 minutes and next to me is what appears to be a couple. I would say they are on their 2nd or 3rd date, still in the awkward I don't know what to talk about stage. Obviously, I was eavesdropping and I see that she is just finishing up a sandwich. She says to him "Thank you for the sandwich, what do I owe you?" He replies, "Don't worry it was cheap enough." TIME OUT: A.... who says that??? and B..... don't ever say that! A simple "it was my pleasure to get it for you" would have sufficed. Anyway, she hands him a five dollar bill and HE ACTUALLY TAKES IT!! Oh kids, we aren't even getting to the best part yet. Now this couple has my full attention and I'm not even pretending that I'm not eavesdropping at this point (guess I was just dropping). I'm surprised the guy didn't feel me leaning on him trying to get the whole conversation. And this is the part where I was just dying laughing inside. He was noticeably excited to tell her he brought some candy in his Jansport backpack, which I thought was a "no no" once you graduated 8th grade, right (especially in your 30s - its called JACK SPADE). I can tell this guy is easily excitable, his hands were shaking with thrill reaching into that bag... I can only imagine when you get him to....noooooooooo I won't go there but I just did, didn't I?!

He starts rattling off, and faster than hyper active Texan at a live auction, all the different types of candy he's packin'. "I have white chocolate, dark chocolate, milk chocolate, Twizzlers, Tootsie Rolls, Bazooka Jim gum, Slim Jims(not candy), Werthers, Twixx bars, and "these mints I grabbed at the front of the Chinese restaurant from last night...oh, and of course Candy Corn, its amazing they have lasted since Halloween."

SIDENOTE: It was as if he pulled the Mary Poppins bag move - but with candy... I swear to you Willy Wonka would have been jealous! I mean some of the candy he was naming I think stopped being made years ago..........Did I just hear Fun Dip and Crunchy M & Ms in that list? A man with that much candy is a Creeper McCreeperson looking for a playground! All I was waiting for was the white van outside and the sight of him luring all the neighborhood kids to the door.

So five minutes and 30 candy types later, she says in a very disappointed tone, " Wait, you don't have any junior mints in there?" First of all honey, we all know you ain't just snacking on junior mints - lets be honest. And in a defeated voice he replies, "No, I don't, I'm sorry but I didn't even think you liked that." "Oh, ummm yeah, it's okay I just was really craving those mints" was her majestic reply. A CLASSIC MOMENT - stay away from match.com people!!